Determine what other criticisms can be addressed. Understand the person's true motives.
How EQ helps
If you have recognized the criticism as completely destructive and hurtful, then you can think about why the person might have said such a thing to make yourself feel better. Maybe the girl was jealous of your new outfit and said you dress like a skank. Maybe a guy said you're not a good writer because he's jealous that you just published a story. Maybe the person was just in a bad mood and felt like taking it out on someone. Whatever the reason, remind yourself that it had little to do with who you are. Put yourself in the person's shoes.
Understand where he is really coming from. Though the words will still sting, it might make you feel better. If your coworker yelled at you for no reason, but you remember that he is going through a divorce, then you'll start to be a bit more understanding, won't you? Look for the grain of truth. Okay, so maybe the criticism was delivered in a way that was completely mean, unnecessary, and hurtful, and most of the things that were said were way off base. Maybe your co-worker said you were "a complete mess" or your friend said you were "totally selfish" for what you think was no reason at all.
Take a minute to think about it, though: Have you been known to be a little selfish from time to time? If so, then maybe you should reconsider your actions without getting hurt by the way the criticism was given. Sure, it's very hard to take someone seriously if they are yelling at you, calling you names, or generally treating you with completely disrespect. This makes it nearly impossible to take a word they say seriously.
But if you want to be the bigger person, try to find the underlying message if there is one. Remember that words can never hurt you. What was that thing your mother told you about "sticks and stones" not being able to break your bones? Sure, you thought it was stupid in third grade, but now, you're a lot older, and it's starting to make sense. In the end, destructive criticism isn't made up of bullets, swords, or atomic bombs -- it's just a series of words connected together in a way designed to make you feel terrible.
So, remind yourself that criticism only consists of a bunch of words. Criticism can't steal your money, slap you across the face, or crash your car. So don't let it get to you. The most important thing you can do is maintain your confidence. No matter what people are saying about you, you have to stay strong, remember who you are, and not let other people influence your own self-worth.
How to Deal with Criticism Well: 25 Reasons to Embrace It
Being confident doesn't mean thinking that you're flawless, but it does mean loving who you are and how you look. If you're truly confident, then you won't let haters get you down and make you think less of yourself. If you're unhappy with who you are, ask yourself why. Make a list of a few things you don't like about yourself and figure out what you can change. Being confident also means accepting the things you cannot change about yourself.
So, you don't like that you're so tall. Do you plan on slouching for the rest of your life, or will you start to love your long legs after all? Hanging out with people who make you feel good about yourself will also go a long way in making you feel more confident. If you're hanging with people who always bring you down, then yeah, you're not going to feel good about yourself.
Keep doing what you're doing. Will you start participating less in class? Or your co-worker has told you you're too type A.
Are you going to stop being who you are if it's working for you? If you haven't received a valid criticism and know that what people are telling you is only only being said because of jealousy, anger, or mean-spiritedness, then there's no need to change your routine to please people. If the criticism has no basis whatsoever, then the best thing you can do is to ignore it completely.
Don't feel bad if you're not able to push all of these negative words aside right away. It takes practice to stop caring about what people think. Part 3 Quiz If the criticism has no basis, the best thing to do is: Confront the person and ask why they said it. Combat the criticism by explaining that they're just jealous of you. Make a list of your best attributes. Simply ignore the criticism and walk away. A person may be sensitive due to various reasons. Some people are born sensitive and some as a result of traumatic or negative events in life. Think about where your sensitivity comes from.
Are you sensitive only in certain situations?
If yes, write them down and think how you can change your perspective about the situation. If self- evaluation doesn't help or if you have problems dealing with them, consult a counsellor. If you are sensitive to even constructive criticism, it's time to change the way you look at it.
If the criticisms are destructive and baseless, ignore them and be comfortable and confident the way you are. Not Helpful 4 Helpful How should I handle an argumentative student who has trouble accepting criticism? Not Helpful 3 Helpful My friend told me I'm annoying. I was pretty bummed about it, but my other friends told me she just says things without thinking.
What should I do? If she does it again, she is either impulsive or really doesn't like you. Either way, keep a lookout. It might be time for new friends. Not Helpful 1 Helpful 8. How do I must respond to destructive criticism like "You are so fat! Or give a blank facial expression? You can't control the thoughts, words, or actions of others. To attempt to do so is folly and will only leave you exasperated.
Not Helpful 1 Helpful 7. I am very sensitive. Something mean or critical said by family and friends stays with me a long time and I can't even get good sleep at night. What can I do? Tell the people who hurt you about how it makes you feel.
They may not realize they are upsetting you. Not Helpful 6 Helpful What should I do if a classmate of mine or a friend does not get good grades while I do and they say that they can do better if they start studying? Then encourage them to start studying so their grades reflect their true potential. This sounds more like friendly competition than criticism. Don't worry about what the say. You're doing well, so you have nothing to worry about.
Not Helpful 1 Helpful 3. Speak with him during his office hours, and let him know that you are feeling personally affronted by his criticism. He may have a reason behind it. Ask for Constructive Feedback. Don't settle for only listening to what you could do better. You need to know why you should improve or change. Also ask what you have already done really well.
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Learn from your mistakes, and don't ruminate in negative feelings for too long, or let them prevent you from doing what you love. Keep a record of all the compliments and praise that you have already gotten, and go back to them when you doubt yourself. Likewise, at the end of the day, write down what you have accomplished and give yourself credit for that, instead of being your own worst critic by putting yourself down because of a sense that you didn't get anything meaningful done. Focus on the Positive. Ask your friends, colleagues and family members what your greatest strengths are, and concentrate on improving them instead of worrying what you think you can't get done well enough.
Your Opinion Matters Most. Remember that there are as many opinions as there are people. Try to get rid of the feeling that you always need to validate your thoughts and ideas with someone else. There are perpetually going to be people who will criticize you, however those opinions are only a few of many. Concentrate on the positive feedback, and don't be put down because of negativity.
Learn to let go, and trust your own intuition and gut feeling. Group 8 Created with Sketch. Criticism gives you the chance to teach people how to treat you. Certain pieces of criticism teach you not to sweat the small stuff. The more time you spend dwelling about what someone said, the less time you have to do something with it. If you improve how you operate after receiving criticism, this will save time and energy in the future. Fostering the ability to let go of your feelings and thoughts about being critiqued can help you let go in other areas of your life.
Letting go of worries, regrets, stresses, fears, and even positive feelings helps you root yourself in the present moment. Mindfulness is always the most efficient use of time. Criticism reinforces the power of personal space. Taking ten minutes to process your emotions, perhaps by writing in a journal, will ensure you respond well. And responding well the first time prevents one critical comment from dominating your day. Knowing this can save you a lot of time and stress in the future. Learning to receive false criticism—feedback that has no constructive value—without losing your confidence is a must if you want to do big things in life.
When someone criticizes you, it shines a light on your own insecurities. Why do you believe that, and what can you do about it? When someone else appraises your harshly, you have an opportunity to monitor your internal self-talk. Research indicates up to 80 percent of our thoughts are negative. We are all perfectly imperfect, and other people may notice that from time to time. We may even notice in it each other. Her latest book, Tiny Buddha's Worry Journal , which includes 15 coloring pages, is now available. This site is not intended to provide and does not constitute medical, legal, or other professional advice.
The content on Tiny Buddha is designed to support, not replace, medical or psychiatric treatment. Please seek professional care if you believe you may have a condition.